# The Hoops Boston Awards



## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

OK, folks, it's that time of year again, time for The Hoops Boston Awards. Where you get to abuse the power of your votes to let the NBA know what you think. Below you'll find the list of individual awards and the various teams. Please _do not_ post your votes here, because they won't be counted. Please put your responses in an email and forward it to [email protected]

Now, for the rules, at Hoops Boston our voting rules work sort of like the Suffolk or Cook County election rules. Vote early, vote often. For all the team awards pick one player at each position and a sixth man. Some of the individual awards are reserved for leading vote getters from the team section, and they are listed at the end of the individual awards. So get to it.

*The Hoops Boston Teams* 

*The All NBDL Team*- For the players that have blackmail photos of their coaches, or some other way of justifying their existence in the show that doesn't involve actually playing basketball.

*The All Honky-Disaster Zone Team*- For the big, white bindlestiffs terrorising courts across the NBA.

*The Gheorghe Muresan All-Ugly Team*- For the players so ugly that even 14 year NBA groupies flee in terror.

*The Manute Bol All-Inoffensive Team*- For players whose offensive ineptitude is so vast that they couldn't score on a drunken Lindsey Lohan.

*The Darryl Dawkins All-Eccentric Team*- For the oddest players in the show.

*The Doug Moe All-Matador Team*- Named for the legendary Denver coach whose idea of defense was more offense. These are the players that couldn't defend deficit spending to a room full of politicians.

*The Out of Service Pervis Ellison All IR Team*- For the players that spend so much time in the operating room that they're in danger of getting their own reality TV show. 

*The Michael Jordan All-Offensive Team*- For those players whose offensive prowess simply chokes the life out of opponents.

*The Hoops Boston Individual Awards*

*The Larue Martin Award*- For the biggest rookie bust, who shows little room for improvement.

*The Harold Miner Award*- For the player that throws down the most entertaining dunks.

*The Dennis Rodman Award*- For the biggest nutjob in the NBA. This award is for all-round weirdness, not necessarily criminality, because that would be...

*The Marvin Barnes Award*- For the player that went above and beyond the call of duty to damage the league's image with his behaviour.

*The Yogi Stewart Award*- This award is for contract year heroics by a player that isn't likely to achieve such lofty heights again.

*The Patrick Ewing Award*- The award given for playoff chokery, will likely be renamed for Peja when he retires. Alas Peja seems to have this one locked up as his leading competition now plays for the Celtics.

*The Eric Fernsten Award*- The award for the worst PF/C in the show (I think we know that aqua & #1AWF are going to stuff the ballot box for Moobs Scalabrine on this one).

*The Leon Douglas Award*- The award for players whose free throw shooting is biblically bad.

*The Junior Burrough Award*- The award for players with the ugliest jumpers that clang iron at a rate that would do Antoine Walker proud.

*The Bison Dele Award*- The award for the player that's disappeared in the last season.

*The Channing Frye Award*- An honorary award for the non-caucasian player that's earned a spot on the All Honky-Disaster Zone Team.

*The Olde English™ 12th Man Award*- The award for the player that helped his team most by _not_ playing and polishing his section of the pine to a high gloss

*The Least Improved Player Award*- The award for the flotsam & jetsam that show zero hope of ever improving (are you listening Luke Jackson?)

*The Bill Musselman Award*- The award for the worst coach in the NBA.

*The Jim Paxson Award*- Formerly the Scott Layden Award and the M.L. Carr Award before that. Given annually to the worst executive in the league.

*The Least Valuable Player Award*- The player that has put in the worst performance, bar none, in the NBA.

*The Dr. J Award*- Named for the first Doctor of Hoopsology, the award for the player whose offensive game is the most fun to watch. Not necessarily the best, but certainly the most elegant.

*The George Gervin Award**- No votes on this, it's the recognition given the leading vote getter on the Doug Moe All-Matador Team.

*The Big Bindlestiff Award**- Same as above, it's the award given the leading vote getter on the All Honky-Disaster Zone Team.

*The Oscar Robertson Award**- As with the previous two this award is given the leading vote getter on the All Offensive Team


*The Official Aqua Vote Counter*

Just so that everyone knows to what extent he's stuffed the ballot box. :bsmile:


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## Premier (Oct 30, 2003)

Nice.

So we can vote as many times as we please?


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

Hey, aqua's already cast seven votes, you're going to have to work to keep up. Since he hasn't stickied this, could you?


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## aquaitious (Jun 11, 2002)

ehmunro said:


> Hey, aqua's already cast seven votes, you're going to have to work to keep up. Since he hasn't stickied this, could you?


We're up to 19. ...or will be.


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## aquaitious (Jun 11, 2002)

BTW, you won't be selling my email addresses, right?


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

aquaitious said:


> BTW, you won't be selling my email addresses, right?


Considering that my dyslexia has resulted in hundreds of emails going to the default mailbox for hoopsbotson.com I don't think it's a worry. :laugh:


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## aquaitious (Jun 11, 2002)

When's the last day? I wanna start spamming before it's over...


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

The voting closes after the last game of the NBA Finals.


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## redz (Jan 23, 2006)

The "all inoffensive" team was the best. hahaha, they couldn't score on a drunken lindsay lohan. funniest **** i ever heard.


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## Premier (Oct 30, 2003)

<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tbody><tr> <td class="alt2" style="border: 1px inset ;"> *The voting closes after the last game of the NBA Finals.* </td> </tr> </tbody></table> *
*


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## beantown (Sep 2, 2005)

Why would you have people vote as many times as they want? I'm not going to bother voting; I don't have time todo it another 99 times...sorry to sound grumpy bout it...but it seems like a nonsense way to conduct a vote.


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## edyzbasketball (Nov 16, 2005)

Huh? The *Gheorghe Muresan* All-Ugly Team? :raised_ey 

Hey hey Mister! You're insulting my compatriot!!!


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## Floods (Oct 25, 2005)

no not that, just this a funny thread.


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

XtaZ606 said:


> no not that, just this a funny thread.


Especially the Gheorghe Muresan All-Ugly Team. I'm pissed that Walker's running in third on the PF votes.


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## Causeway (May 18, 2005)

beantown said:


> Why would you have people vote as many times as they want? I'm not going to bother voting; I don't have time todo it another 99 times...sorry to sound grumpy bout it...but it seems like a nonsense way to conduct a vote.


agreed.


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## aquaitious (Jun 11, 2002)

beantown said:


> Why would you have people vote as many times as they want? I'm not going to bother voting; I don't have time todo it another 99 times...sorry to sound grumpy bout it...but it seems like a nonsense way to conduct a vote.


Set it up for automatic spam or copy and paste.


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

beantown said:


> Why would you have people vote as many times as they want? I'm not going to bother voting; I don't have time todo it another 99 times...sorry to sound grumpy bout it...but it seems like a nonsense way to conduct a vote.


In Boston it's a time honoured tradition. Here the dead rise from their graves at dawn on the Tuesday after the first Monday every November to vote early and often. Who am I to deny Aqua the pleasure of casting 17,000 votes for Moobs Scalabrine?


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## Premier (Oct 30, 2003)

On the contrary, in Florida, votes are "lost."


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

I may need to take a page from the Florida playbook and start losing those votes for Charlie Eyebrows & the Matrix.


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## beantown (Sep 2, 2005)

ehmunro said:


> I may need to take a page from the Florida playbook and start losing those votes for Charlie Eyebrows & the Matrix.


my good ehmunro--a brit I reckon? bloody class, ace mate! 

I recently came back from studying abroad at the Oxbridge schools...If youre not a Britain, your a freakin lunatic bud. 

i kid, i kid. :cheers: cheers.


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

Scottish-American. My childhood books were all written in English, which caused great difficulties with the Yank teachers that wanted me to learn American. But I have a natural stubborn streak and held on to as much of the mother tongue as I could. The result is that I write like a Canuckian. :bsmile:


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## beantown (Sep 2, 2005)

ehmunro said:


> Scottish-American. My childhood books were all written in English, which caused great difficulties with the Yank teachers that wanted me to learn American. But I have a natural stubborn streak and held on to as much of the mother tongue as I could. The result is that I write like a Canuckian. :bsmile:


Right, like I said....Poor Scotland, Poor Canada, Poor me.:raised_ey


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

Here you are, aqua. The other half will be up tonight sometime after I finish slapping the markup on the text.


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## silverpaw1786 (Mar 11, 2004)

where are the player awards?


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## aquaitious (Jun 11, 2002)

silverpaw1786 said:


> where are the player awards?


He's still "wrapping them up."

These years (team) are good, but last year's they were a classic. 

Can't wait for the Individual Awards, they are more in depth.


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## Premier (Oct 30, 2003)

aquaitious said:


> He's still "wrapping them up."


It has just been posted.

Very well done, I must add. Still wondering how Doc Rivers wasn't nominated for the Bill Musselman award.


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

You know, Aqua, after all the work we've done for your amusement, you could at least leave a comment. :curse:


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## aquaitious (Jun 11, 2002)

ehmunro said:


> You know, Aqua, after all the work we've done for your amusement, you could at least leave a comment. :curse:


I'll leave one on there, too.

So far I'm loving the Individual awards.



> SPACEMAN’S GERBIL: Especially auto-titillation. Which brings to our third nominee, pitbull trainer and bookie, Qyntel Woods.
> 
> E.H. MUNRO: Who started the year as a throw in player in the nine team, 34 player trade that Danny Ainge orchestrated to help lead the Heat to a title and ended the year as a featured act for the Isiah Thomas Cavalcade of Craziness Sideshow.
> 
> ...


Favorite Part: 



> SPACEMAN’S GERBIL: Our last nominee is sometime Celtic Antoine Walker...


"sometime Celtic"

:rotf:


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

What? You have a doubt that Walker is getting dealt here as an expiring deal? :bsmile:


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## P-Dub34 (May 19, 2005)

Haha @ all the Scalabrine selections. How can he like it here when it's obvious we don't want him around?


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

Yeah, aqua went overboard with the B-Cup votes, he was even voting for Jugs in the Channing Frye Award balloting.


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## aquaitious (Jun 11, 2002)

ehmunro said:


> Yeah, aqua went overboard with the B-Cup votes, he was even voting for Jugs in the Channing Frye Award balloting.



I guess it's time to change IP Maskers...


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## E.H. Munro (Jun 22, 2004)

Just for Aqua, we've added a new feature this year, we're tracking the early favourites for the 2007 Awards.


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